I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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