dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
