just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
