I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
