So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We need to get me chipped asap
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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