Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
