I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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