I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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