you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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