We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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