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She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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