Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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