There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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