a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i drank out of a bidet.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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