They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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