college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
