He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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