yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
