I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
