Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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