I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize