I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
