Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
