Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
