Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
