sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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