um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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