if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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