basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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