It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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