I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
