We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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