We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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