I wish I could punch you in the face.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
