I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
