The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
