SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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