Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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