Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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