Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
