Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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