You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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