i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YAS. BRING CRAB.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
