Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
