three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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