Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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