i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
