Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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