So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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