I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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