**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
