You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
