My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
