Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
