it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
