So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
