I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
