Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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